“I am your SERGEANT MAJOR” Bellowed a lean yet muscular, dark, mean-looking, thick eyebrows, unfriendly man in green.

Our parents were not with us anymore as we were ushered into the auditorium.

Oh, before I forget, I already surrendered my most precious item — The Pink IC.

I sat nervously in my chair, not even daring to fidget or make any loud movement, listening attentively to the mr. I-AM-YOUR-SERGEANT-MAJOR rambling on and on about the house rules.

I scanned through the rows of chairs carefully, hoping to see some familiar faces that might just make the gloomy day a little bit better.

I found one. Damn, he is the weird kid in school whom I never seemed to get along well. He seemed to notice me as well, we gave each other a polite smile and quickly broke eye contact. That awkward moment.

Soon, they were giving out free files and the allocation of company.

I gotten mine, and it reads:

Victor Gan Yi Xiang
Company: C

C.

Isn’t C cougar?

Isn’t Cougar the company that always get best company?

So I am going into the best company?

Oh.

my.

shit.

By being the best company, it has got to be the most crazy, demanding, tiring, tedious, insane, mad training. Horrifying images started to cloud my head and I was stunned for the moment.

 

[Story - I am a Singaporean Son.] And it begins

As I write this story, I am 5 days away from the Operational Ready Date of my National Service Stint. It has been a crazy 1 year 10 months that I never thought I would go through. Thus, I am inspired to write a story based on my journey in the armed forces. . Every Singapore Son will go through this. A story of blood, tears, sweat, love and friendship and mine began with a phone call…

3/2/2010

“I cannot believe you are going to enlist” Moon weeped gently over the phone. Moon is my girlfriend for 2 years. More about the two of us later.When I heard her crying over the overseas call, my heart ache. It did not help to lessen the nervousness that I felt in me at that instance. I rubbed my cleanly shaven head and put down the phone after assuring her that everything will be okay. But will it really?

I attempted to sleep, but no matter how many sheep I counted, sleep eluded me that night.

4/2/2010

The next morning was chaotic. My mom was extremely worried. And when she is worried she starts nagging. And when she starts nagging, I will feel frustrated. normally. That day was special. I dont know if its the butterflies in my stomachs or because I know I am going to be gone for the next 2 weeks on a foreign island but the nagging just does not seemed as irritating as it ought to be.

We double checked, no, triple, no, quadra… Anyway, we checked my personal items again and again. I had some pretty traumatizing experience from uniform group. Not bringing an item on the packing list is akin to killing the the instructor’s parents. He will fuck you in out right left upside down. This logic is something I never really understood till today.

We finally reached the JETTY. There are some pretty scary looking green uniformed people trying to usher us and get us into order. Whats that rank? Sergeant? Leutenant? Leftenant? Sergeant major? So which one is bigger? Ah… this confuses me.

We board the ferry on our way to the training island. It was a ferry full of anxious kids and parents. My mom looked around and commented ” you look the skinniest”

Thanks mom for the reassurance.

I havent been that much of an athletic person. Although I enjoy outdoor activities, lazing around at home is also my favorite activity. I have been skinny my entire life. Not very good looking either. How I managed to get a girlfriend remained a mystery to many.

It was true though, my mother’s comments. Although I was trying very hard to psycho myself that those people are fat, not strong. But who was I trying to deceive…

When we reached the island, it was time for us to split…..

This has got to be…

One of the gayest happiest shit i ever seen. (I know a few of them personally but still got to put it up, cant resist).
A group of guys in a neoprint.
GUYS DONT TAKE GROUP NEOPRINTS. FULL STOP.

Look at this

This is my math teacher. We have 3 and a half hour more to our math Bloc test.

Dont worry Mr Ng, when you play this near 3 am, we totally know that you are not addicted to facebook. None of us should be awake at this time(2.46) to study before a math and physics paper anyway.

-run off-

60 UPON 60 CHANT WITH ME

GAH IT is just so so irritating when people are starting to finish blocs and I BARELY STARTED!!!!

Friend A: Oh I took Econs le!

Friend B: Wa econs were okay. But bio…

Friend C: Geog and lit went fine…

Friend J (YOU KNOW WHO): MY PAPER IS FINISHING ON FRIDAY!

Me: Er I only took GP?

FINALLY ITS GOING TO START FOR ME AND ITS KINDA LIKE A…….. Mixed feelings.

I want it to start but Iam scared at the same time.

Sigh.

But one thing for sure… My room follows the  the law of entropy.

DONT LAUGH!

Re-wild the human population -THE MASTERPLAN

Do away with technology, infact do away with everything that we have now.

We should re-wild.

Animals and insects are our peers, next time you should have animal friends because they are earthlings. You are earthling. Everyone is earthling. Remember, we are EARTHLINGs

Hi I am xiao qiang, your potential best friend. What do you mean which one? We are all xiao qiangs!

No human community should be bigger than 20000. Yes you heard it right, 20000 not 200000. Why 20000? Because 200001 is one too many. Hey wait, as my friend shitney had gladly pointed out, that is the size of roughly 4-6 HDB flats in Singapore.

Yea liddat. Nice sia.

Wait earthlings, dont get too excited. I am not done yet. ThAT IS NOT ENOUGH! For each community, they need to be separated by a region of WILDERness.

Beautiful. Just so Beautiful.

There should be no export, we should get rid of ALL capitalism. There should be no cars, no trains, just sailing. If Air transport is required, we must use a solar power blimp!

Sure this one solar powered? If not cannot use ah

Okay la okay la. Dont say I am too bad to you earthlings (me included) okay? Although we are like going back to be primates. We will keep our communication between each community!

So what does that mean?

YOUR IPHONE STILL CAN USE LA!

Other than all that, we are overpopulating. We are giving birth to too many idiots who consume too much of our resources. We will find a radical way to reduce our population to 1 billion. How? I show you how!

*Call someone*

Me: Hello!

Someone: Hi er may I kno…

Me: Congratulations!

Someone: Huh?

Me: You are chosen to be part of our re-wild human population project! You get to save thousands of lives of insects animals and other species of the Earth! Its a privilege !

Someone: Oh so what do I have to do?

Me: Very easy one… Give us your life! It will help us reduce the worlds population to 1 Billion!

See? Its simple. Radical and creative way to get things done. Earthlings, make your stand.

——
Do you think this post is totally ridiculous, here is the ridiculous part : It is made by Paul Watson (A FREAKING REAL GUY WHO WAS MENTIONED BY TIMES AS ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO CAN CHANGE OUR EARTH.)

Want an even more ridiculous twist?

It is our General Paper Comprehension Paper.

Ha.ha.

If theres one thing that will distract me…

It got to be facebook

When in the past people i was obsessed with maple story, now im totally addicted to facebook.

Its just the ultimate good fuuzzly warm feeling when you post a note and there are comments pouring in.

It is also also the ultimate place for people to declare their love…

They are guys. But facebook is not homophobic!

But what is really really alluring about facebook is its real time feed about the world’s big happening. It respond real time to whatever disasters or events that is potentially world shocking.

A search of Michael Jackson right after his death (I got to know of his death through my friends’ facebook status) will show you how big a star he is when there are more than 500 fan clubs each with tens of thousands of fans in it.

The list is inexhaustible.

It also allow us to pay tribute to the great star in more than the conventional way of writing a note…

We do his quiz and find out what song of his we are…

Makes me really sad after going through all that. I was not really a big fan of his, however I am proud to say that I once declared that no matter what he did, he is still a legend. And that was before his death. It is really sad that people only really realised his achievement and contribution to the world after he dies.

erm. okay.

So I decided to do a search on “Victor Gan” secretly wishing that there will be that one teeny weeny group of people that idolises me and I do not know!

And I typed…

Searched…

WHAT THE!

First Post!

Hah. This is pretty surreal and unreal that I am starting to blog again! And its during this time when there is Blocs and everyone is mugging like dogs.

But I just had the sudden urge to write stuff, to blog and just to let out my feelings once in a while. I wouldnt call it a full comeback because I dont know how long this “sudden urge” will last, but I am hoping it will be pretty long because the days ahead do look gloomy and I can have my dose of stress-relieving stuff up here. Hehe.

So the past month of june holiday had been one of the most eventful one. Other than mugging, I slept, eat… OH DID I MENTION BREATHING?

Im guessing that almost everyone in Hwa Chong pretty much led the same life in June. This won’t do. If this carries on, we will see all of us playing SCREAM characters without make up.

Me after June Holidays.

We ought to take a break, take sometime to chill… catch a movie or two…

We need a big change.

Breaking news: Micheal Jackson died at the age of 50. I have always loved his moonwalk and torso jerking moves. Now that he is dead, all the controversy will die with him and the only thing he will leave behind is his popstar legacy.